Ordinary Time 2017
The following is a parody of "In Times of Great Decision," an election hymn by the Rev. Carolyn Winfrey Gillette. (You might say that the primary difference between the two versions is that the original has four verses.)
In times of great decision be with us God we pray.
Give each of us the foresight to send George Bush away.
We're sick of all the bullsh*t we know it's all a crock.
That's why we're asking, Jesus, kick Dubya to Iraq.
He could not find Osama, he bombed Baghdad instead.
He somehow went to Yale, though he seems to be brain-dead,
and all our country's problems he blames on Nine-Elev'n.
Lord, we would not be angered if you took Shrub to Heav'n.
He is the scourge of Clinton; he is the bane of Gore.
We really cannot f*cking live with him any more.
He's "Left Behind" our children while he reads Tim LaHaye!
If You should come in glory, take Curious George away.
Tune: AURELIA 184.108.40.206 D (Samuel Sebastian Wesley, 1810-1876)
Note: Due to the technological inadequacy of the human voice, hyperlinks will not appear in most sung versions. This is an oversight, and we at Sinden.org are working on it.
Ashlee Simpson's father, "a formerly penniless Baptist minister who these days wears a chunky diamond stud in his left ear" (NYTimes 3 Oct 2004) was the one who encouraged her to lip-sync a performance on Saturday Night Live last week because she was suffering from acid reflux and had a sore throat (NYTimes 26 Oct 2004).
Well, silly me. I have been playing the organ "live" in church for all these years even when I don't feel my best. If an artist like Ashlee Simpson can maintain her integrity without singing, maybe I can maintain mine without playing.
Good thing my organ has MIDI!
Tangent: Ashlee Simpson as sheep (see photo).
I am coming to terms with losing a member of my (undergraduate) email family. Luckily I found this in the Book of Uncommon Prayer (BUP):
For none of us has email in himself,
and none becomes his own password when he dies.
For if we have life, we are alive in the internet,
and if we die, we die in the internet.
So, then, whether we live or die,
we are the internet's possession.
The Celebrant then says: The Lord be with you.
People: And also with you.
Celebrant: Let us pray.
O God of grace and glory, we remember before you this day our brother David.Sinden@oberlin.edu. We thank you for giving him to us, his replies and forwards, to know and to read as a companion on our electronic pilgrimage. In your boundless compassion, console us who mourn. Give us faith to see in death the gate of eternal information, so that in quiet confidence we may continue our course on computers, until, by your call, we are reunited with those addresses who have gone before, and those whose quotas are full. Amen.
Just in time for Halloween, this article in the Indiana Daily Student caught my eye:
A man carrying a large axe was arrested near T.I.S. Bookstore Friday on two warrants for failure to appear in court.
The IU Police Department received a call Friday afternoon that said a male carrying a large axe was seen urinating on the front lawn of the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority house.
IUPD Officer Chad Werner stopped non-student Jeffery Scott Nilsen.
Nilsen told the officer he was an antique dealer and was transporting the axe home to use as a Halloween prop, IUPD records said.
There was no evidence of any crime committed, and Nilsen was not charged with anything Friday, but he was arrested on the two failure to appear in court charges.
By the way, if urinating on a sorority house lawn while carrying a large axe is not a crime, I am definitely not as cool as I thought I was.
Just some of the many reasons I want to go to Finland.
Labels: Jean Sibelius
I had two thoughts this morning about the "L'homme Arme" (The Armed Man) Mass phenomenon.
The first was a possible biblical justification for the use the tune L'homme Arme
The original tune "L'homme Arme" had lyrics that translate thusly:
The man, the man, the armed man
The armed man is to be feared.
Everywhere it has been proclaimed
That everyone should arm himself with an iron coat of mail.
So my mind immediately went to the passage in Ephesians where Paul talks about putting on the full armor of God and the components of said armor.
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to withstand on that evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist, and put on the breastplate of righteousness. As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace. With all of these, take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times in every prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert and always persevere in supplication for all the saints.
Iron coat of mail? Breastplate of righteousness? It is just too easy.
The second thought I had was that the use of this secular tune, not as a focal point of the composition of these Masses, but merely a guiding or structural element, was also biblically related. Jesus makes several statements about being "in the world" but not "of the world." Here's one of them:
They [those whom God gave Jesus] do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world.
- John 17:16. (See also John 15:19)
Even though "L'homme Arme" is "in the world" (i.e., secular) it is transformed in these Mass settings (Romans 12:1-2) so that it becomes something quite special (i.e. "not of the world").
Now look here, I haven't done any research at all, and already I have explained why everyone and their father (mothers didn't do much composing back then) wrote a Mass based on this silly tune. It starts out being a weird obsession with Paul's armor of God concept, and then it goes on to elucidate the whole "in"/"not of" the world thing.
One might say that I found myself thoroughly armed with biblical references this morning.
Tangents: I wrote this in honor of Mary Larew who dedicated an entire early-morning radio program on WOBC to "L'homme Arme" thereby prompting me to call in with the following: An Interview with the Armed Man.
In my continuing commitment to musicological excellence, I initially translated "L'homme Arme" automatically: "The man, the man, the man arms, the man arms, the man arms doibt one doubter, doibt one doubter. One made by all shout, That chascun viegne to arm itself, of an iron haubregon. The man, the man, the man arms, the man arms, the man arms doibt one doubter, doibt one doubter."
Louis Vierne, French organist and composer, would have been 134 today.
Born nearly blind, Vierne studied music enthusiastically and became a masterful composer and improviser. He was appointed the titular organist at Notre Dame in 1900. His Organ Symphonies contain a powerful chromaticism that transcends the frailty of the performer revealing, at times, something otherworldly.
During his 1750th recital at Notre Dame, Vierne suffered a heart attack while seated at the organ. To this day, the bench on which he was seated is kept near the entrance to the organ loft nearly 100 feet above the nave. It bears a small plaque with his name.
Only Vierne would dare to die a death as dramatic as his music. What a guy. Here's to you Louis. Happy birthday.
In the vice-presidential debate Tuesday, Dick Cheney directed viewers to go to factcheck.com. Here's an excerpt from the site:
President Bush is endangering our safety, hurting our vital interests, and undermining American values.
He probably meant for them to visit factcheck.org.
These subtle differences, however, seem to often escape his administration. Differences like those between Dot-com and dot-org; Osama and Saddam.
Tangent: I mean, what if I accidentally directed people to Sinden.com?
The combover is U.S. Patent number 4,022,227.
There is an American Nudist Research Library in Kissimmee, Florida.
Herring apparently communicate by farting
People associated with these bizzarities (and others) are winners of the Ig Nobel Prize.
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Yes, but they're not the kind you buy on Wheel of Fortune.
the owner of a bower at Bucklesfordberry?
Full daintily it is dight.
interested in touch lamps?
And fountain pens.