Holy Week 2019
OBERLIN - Before ever really getting of the ground, Sinden.org is calling it quits.
Frank Griswold, The Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church filed suit in federal court Wednesday saying that "Sinden.org makes a mockery of all that is holy."
Late Wednesday the 46th Circus Court of Ohio issued a Cease and Desist order against the makers of Sinden.org. Federal Agents stormed the groups hideout, known as the "Dascomb Complex," to issue the order and seize necessary materials. Reports from Oberlin suggest that upon entering, agents found the staff consuming a box of communion wafers. Also seized was a makeshift cardboard altar.
"First it was the irregular confirmations and now this!" said Griswold in a telephone interview. "Ohio is going to the dogs I tell you!"
"That's a crock of hooey" said the director of Sinden.org. "You aren't writing this down, are you? What sort of journalism is this? Yellow? That's not a liturgical color, is it? Everyone knows that Frank [Griswold] is a primate, and from what I know, primates are monkeys."
Sinden.org's director then suggested that Griswold has been seen inappropriately touching Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams. To the untrained eye, it may not seem that Griswold ever inappropriately touched the "ABC," as he is affectionately known in the Anglican communion.
Did the primate touch the ABC? Or did the primate just get in touch with the alphabet?
Bishop Gene Robinson of New Hampshire was able to confirm that, yes, the ABC was inappropriately touched.
"It's an Episcopal thing," Robinson said.
"This is ridiculous," said an Episcopal Church spokesperson. Do people actually think this is funny? We are going after those guys with everything we've got,"
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