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Peter, AKA Simon, AKA Cephas never could decide on a name. Here, he decides on a chicken. He could have done worse.

Rating: B-

James (the greater): a purse on a coathanger. It's been a long time since I've seen a purse on a coathanger, but I guess James is suggesting that's a good place to put them. I'll agree.

Rating: B+

John was, of course, not a doctor so he gets a medical emblem. Tradition says that Luke was actually the physician. What's John trying to pull?

Rating: D

Philip gets the marshmallow cross conjuring up images of the campfire Jesus. "Hey, who's hoarding the all chocolate?" [silence, all turn and look at Judas]

Rating: A-

Bartholomew has some type of obscure produce. What is that thing, a rutabaga? I bet Bart had the most unappetizing s'mores ever.

Rating: C-

James the Less has, what, potatoes? You can do better than this, James. See me after class.

Rating: D-

Jude, what is that, a broccoli stem? Who got the apostles hooked on vegetables? (Maybe they said too many Vegetables and Responses?) I knew Jude shouldn't sit next to James.

Rating: F

Simon's is quirky. It seems like it should say, "don't forget to pack your fish."

Rating: B

Ah! A spear with potatoes for Matthias. Excellent. Looks like he's giving James the less a run for his money. The notion of conquering potatoes intrigues me, but doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

Rating: B+

Paul's symbol looks something like Darth Vader. This is fitting because Yoda says:

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering

while Paul, seemingly in dialogue with Yoda, writes:

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

-Paul's letter to the Romans 5:3

All of the apostle symbols on this page are mostly about suffering. Paul and Yoda help remind us that the Apostles who were feared, hated and made to suffer, counted these sufferings, not as a curse, but as something in which to "rejoice."

Rating A+