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Glaucoma, Glaucoma, Glaucoma
Constricting vision slowly
Halted by progress of science
Vision of a world united
Beyond all science knowing

"Glaucoma Hymn"
Erik Greve, June 2005 (via BoingBoing)

9.7.8.8.7

That would be the metrical index number of the above "hymn." I don't have any tunes that fit the bill in my hymnal.

The closest might be LACQUIPARLE (96.99.96)

Getting this text to fit with LACQUIPARLE would be like shoving a square peg into a round eye of a needle. It would sound awful. But would it work? I haven't perfected a technique to determine a "syllabification index number," but it seems adding the numbers together might yeild something.

9+7+8+8+7 = 49 (Glaucoma text)
9+6+9+9+9+6 = 48 (LACQUIPARLE)

49-48 = 1

So, it turns out there would just be an extra syllable to cram in somewhere, again, not that this would be in any way musical.

Is the text above, however, really a hymn? I don't think so. Hymns are strophic. This text is not.

And what's with the "Beyond all science knowing?" I can't really make sense of this, and the lack of punctuation doesn't clarify the author's intent. (Part of me is worried that the author's intent shows through in the title: "hymn." Hymns don't need to make sense and they're made up of clichéd phrases that people won't think about too much anyway.)

Try harder, you random Glaucoma people.

The BoingBoing post suggests "a song for every disease." That's fine but let's call a spade song a spade song. Not a hymn.

Elsewhere: Ah, Olympic women's figure skating. Where else can you hear an audience try to clap along to a Rachmaninoff Piano Concerto?

Labels: hymn