Ordinary Time 2017
You might be wondering, "what are others saying about you, David Sinden?"
Well, I'll tell you:
He's my new hero
Stephen Van Dahm (source)
He's a hymn-nazi
Titus van den Heuvel (Titus actually said this!)
I cut off my ear for him!
Vincent van Gogh (possibly spurious, but he would have said this in Dutch)
Isn't that nice? The rest of what's been said about me lately has been mostly name calling.
In fact, it turns out the only people who say nice things about me have "van" in their name.
Part of the fallout from a recent article I wrote was that someone called me a "Sexagesima." I didn't think this was very nice. I also didn't really know what it meant.
That is, I didn't know what it meant before I stumbled upon Lectionary Central. And lo, there it is: the traditional western lectionary for all to behold.
Tangent: I like the phrase "western lectionary" a lot. As in "Yee-haw, pardner! Let's giddeyup dem Preer Bucks and say us'n Eve'nin-Song! Whoopee!"
I was all set to behold my favorite TV show last week, but the one week I didn't have a Thursday night choir rehearsal, Fox wasn't showing The O.C.. It was preempted by Skating with Celebrities. I guess God decided it best to remove this temptation from me.
Full disclosure: On average, I probably watch about 20 minutes of network TV a month. I don't have cable, so in order to pull in a staticky Fox from Indianapolis I have to do some pretty fancy antennawork.
Speaking of fancy antennawork, you might remember that back on Christ the King Sunday when I pulled in an Anglican Use Gradual. Well, it turns out that the adapter of said Gradual maintains a website: C. David Burt's Weblog. This is just further proof that conservative Anglicans are generally older white men with beards and blogs.
Another (likely bearded) Anglican has created another online Anglican Gradual and Sacramentary. Well, to clarify, another Gradual, but the first Sacramentary I've found. The website is not attractive, but the downloadable documents are.
I think biodiesel is attractive (though not downloadable), which naturally led me to the announcement that the world's largest biodiesel plant will be built in Claypool, Indiana, a mere four-hour drive from my home. The company building the plant is Louis Dreyfus Agriculture Industries LLC. You probably recognize that company's name from an actress on Seinfeld. (Her dad owns the company.)
Kevin Bacon, in case you don't know, is the center of the universe.
Tangent: TV and movie stars often have strange powers. Did David Hasselhoff help end the cold war?
My spies tell me that Witherspoon has attended Mass at All Saints', Beverly Hills, California which, if nothing else, means she's heard good organ music.
I reviewed her recital on this prayer request card:
During intermission I flipped through a paperback "Worship Resource Book" that the church had produced, and found a hand-written Gloria Patri:
I noticed that this Gloria Patri was written for someone named "Laws."
Wandering around after the recital, I noticed there was a whole room named for these "Laws."
For being highly legalistic Presbyterians, the church sure doesn't pay attention to the Laws of Liturgy, for what did I find upon opening last week's bulletin?
Immediately After Anne McLaren concluded the "Call to Worship" by inviting the congregation to "observe a holy Lent" the congregation sang "Praise, My Soul, the God of Heaven," which, like the original hymn by Henry Francis Lyte, contains no fewer than eight A-words. You know, the four-syllable ones that are forbidden in Lent and should be reserved for Easter.
So that Holy Lent liturgically lasted like, what, less than a minute?
All*luia's aside, here's an Inclusive Language Quibble: I'm not normally one to fuss over such things, but let's take a look at the title of that hymn: "The God of Heaven" means what exactly? Is this supposed to distinguish Him from the God of Earth? from the God of Biscuits? I think "King of Heaven" is supposed to be a metaphor for God. I don't think that "God of Heaven" is a metaphor for God, at least, not a very good one.
You can't use the thing that you're metaphoring in the actual metaphor, it just doesn't work. It's one thing to call David Sinden a hymn-nazi. It's another thing to call Adolph Hitler a hymn-nazi.
It would be far more appropriate, though very difficult, to sing of the "Prime Minister of Heaven." Actually, those of you in the UK might consider this as a possibility. Especially feminist Presbyterian hymnal editors.
Now hopefully some Presbyterians will read this, and instigate a sweeping liturgical reform movement while extolling me as their new hero. The Prime Minister of Liturgy, if you will.
Perhaps that Presbyterian will be Kevin Bacon?
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Yes, but they're not the kind you buy on Wheel of Fortune.
the owner of a bower at Bucklesfordberry?
Full daintily it is dight.
interested in touch lamps?
And fountain pens.