blog.sinden.org

I used to live in Houston, and it's too bad I moved away, because now Jesus lives there.

And I'm sort of glad that Jesus has moved in, because now he can keep an eye on Victoria Osteen. Victoria Osteen is the wife of "pastor" and NY Times bestselling pseudo-Christian self-help author Joel Osteen. The Osteens are head of the "health and wealth" megachurch that meets in the former home of the Houston Rockets: Lakewood Church.

Lakewood Church's motto is "Discover the Champion in You". An interesting motto, to be sure. I for one, can think of one "champion" right away. And for me, this is a helpful comparison, because I like to think of the big and overconfident being slain by small crafty kids named David.

But this is all irrelevant when it comes to air travel. Joel and Victoria had boarded a Continental plane back in December (Continental Airlines is based in Houston), and Victoria decided to get really nasty. She was somehow incensed (not the smelly kind, they're not a liturgical church mind you) that there was liquid on her seat. This was, of course, prior to the liquid ban, so she had no reason to suspect terrorism, and instead began terrorizing the flight staff herself, becoming physically aggressive in demanding that it be cleaned up.

Well, after things got out of hand the Osteens voluntarily left the flight, and now Victoria is being fined and sued. Apparently, it doesn't matter how big the church you "pastor" is, you still can't act like an entitled jerk on an aircraft. Who knew?

What does this have to do with Jesus? Well, nothing so far. I mean, he makes very few appearances in the "liturgy" at Lakewood Church or the aircraft in question. Nor does he appear, for that matter, in the architecture of Lakewood Church: there is not a single cross in the place, though there is large metal globe that slowly rotates.

Luckily for the people of Lakewood Church, however, our Lord has sensed that he is needed, and Jesus has moved into the Houston suburbs.

His message? It doesn't matter how well your husband's book sold, you still have to act like a civil human being.

The aircraft incident really makes one wonder about the Osteens. Everyone gets angry, and everyone makes mistakes, but something else is going on here. The feel-good gospel must not have "held water" that day. And why lie about it?

Jesus/water tangent: Yeah, he walked on water, but did he ever walk on water in church?

Debussy tangent: So I guess the above tangent is supposed to be a reference to Debussy's Sunken Cathedral?

Labels: Osteen