Earlier today, Scott encounters Apostles Church (New York NY) with a free, seemingly heaven-sent granola bar.
For a minute on the subway, I was afraid my Judaism would cause the granola bar to react to my stomach like holy water to a vampire, but I took my chances. No heartburn yet.
According to their obnoxiously-designed website, Apostles Church NYC believes in proclaiming Jesus, assimilating believers like in Star Trek, developing leaders, renewing the city, and planting churches, which is my favorite part. I imagine little sapling churches springing up in Central Park trying like hell heaven to sprout a few buds before the athiest [sic] lawnmowers plow them into oblivion, laughing maniacally.
The Body of Christ: Now with Chocolate Chips! from in the what?
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