Don't let the United Parcel Service keep you from speaking with a real live person with their crafty automated phone system at 1-800-PICK-UPS.
Incidentally, you should know that they chose this number after a focus group revealed that dialing 1-800-CHOOSE-THE-UNITED-PARCEL-SERVICE was a bit cumbersome
Just press 8.
You'll have to wait around for the next available representative, but at least you won't have to scream obscenities at the computer-voice woman.
You might try 9 too, but only if you speak Spanish.
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Yes, but they're not the kind you buy on Wheel of Fortune.
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Full daintily it is dight.
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And fountain pens.