Season after Pentecost, 2023
Is it really wedding season again? Well, not exactly.
Wait -- hold the phone, "wedding season"? Is there a particular season for weddings?
There's hunting season, and there's the holiday season that we just (barely) made it out of. If a fruit or vegetable is readily available at a particularly high quality we would say that it is "in season". In all of these cases the "season" is when the getting (game, gifts, gourds) is good.
So it's a kind of "wedding season" in the sense that couples are trying to get good "venues" for their weddings. And where should these weddings be? Why, how about a church? The couples haven't been to one lately, or ever, but they figure, hey, it's pretty and our parents might like it.
I regularly encounter these couples at the church where I work. According to our wedding policy, many of them are not eligible for a wedding in our church, now matter how pretty it is or how much money they have.
If you want to get married somewhere, great! Try the Motel 6, or the Hilton down the street.
If you want to get married in the context of a worship service, how about the church?
Unlike your blond bimbo bride, the church is not just another pretty face. Nay, it's rather more than that. And expressions of extravagant consumerism really have no place here.
A past rector was once asked what he would like to be paid for officiating at the wedding. His answer? The same as what the bride paid for her dress.
Now, don't get me wrong, there are "faithful" weddings, and not all faithful weddings happen in liturgical churches, or churches at all for that matter.
But the wedding-industrial complex is out of control. Too many churches, it seems, are in the "venue" business. They're happy to profit from a default deistic tendency of the populace, and are poor stewards of the gifts and heritage of the church. Rather than attempt counsel, educate or edify (let alone attempt to construct any kind of meaningful God-centered worship around the hackneyed couple-centered wedding liturgy) with their human resources, these churches simply whore their buildings out to the masses.
Speaking of whoring yourself out to the masses, how about Canon in D?
I'm happy to report that my "Moratorium on Pachelbel's Canon at Weddings" group on Facebook is doing well. Here are some recent highlights from the wall.
Mariah Mlynarek from Michigan writes:
everyone frickin bride says "I really want something different, you know, not traditional........do you know canon in d?" and then I tell them that it is cursed and they will get a divorce if they have it played at their wedding..........it seems to do the trick
Jackie Lo from Australia relates the hate from down under:
when I hear "I've been dreaming about walking down the aisle to this song all my life.. but I can't remember what it is" or "'we need some music to kill some time" I know its coming....... Pachelbel's canon. So frigging lame!!!!! It's the worst song EVER
Kathryn Cooper, from Minnesota State, balked at the Canon she heard at her wedding rehearsal:
I stopped them immediately! I told them that if they want to get payed, they would stop... they all reacted "Thank God!" ha ha
Sarah Field's experience at a beginner flute concert:
The tempo was so slow that it took about 10 minutes to perform, no lie. By that time I was looking for razors.
Sally Hanton speaks on the musical literacy and levelheaded reasoning of wedding couples when she writes:
. . . I was asked to play as a solo cello at a wedding - of course, they wanted Pachelbel! Apparently the concept of "Canon" had escaped them...thankfully the aisle was short enough that I had only got to bar 8 by the time the bride arrived at the front!
The page you're reading is part of Sinden.org
©MMXVII Sinden.org: a site for fun and prophet
Looking for Carol Spreadsheets?
Hungry? Try the Liturgical Guide to Altoids Consumption
Thirsty? Try the Tibia Liquida
The Eric Harding Thiman Fan Page: The greatest composer you've never even heard of.
Questions? Problems? email the sexton.
Alex Ross: The Rest is Noise
Book of Common Prayer
The Daily Office
The Lectionary Page
Ship of Fools
The Sub-Dean's Stall
Vested Interest - Trinity Church in the City of Boston
Andrew Kotylo - Concert Organist
Bonnie Whiting, percussion
conjectural navel gazing: jesus in lint form
Friday Night Organ Pump
Halbert Gober Organs, Inc.
in time of daffodils
Joby Bell, organist
Musings of a Synesthete
My Life as Style, Condition, Commodity.
Nathan Medley, Countertenor
Notes on Music & Liturgy
The Parker Quartet
Roof Crashers & Hem Grabbers
That Which We Have Heard & Known
This Side of Lost
Zachary Wadsworth | composer
Advent (Medfield MA)
All Saints, Ashmont (Boston MA)
All Saints (Indianapolis IN)
Atonement (Bronx NY)
Broadway UMC (Indianapolis IN)
Cathedral of All Saints (Albany NY)
Christ Church (Bronxville NY)
Christ Church (Madison IN)
Christ Church (New Haven CT)
Christ Church Cathedral (Indianapolis IN)
Christ's Church (Rye NY)
Church of St. Stephen (Hamden CT)
Congregational (Belmont CA)
Coventry Cathedral (UK)
First UMC (Lancaster SC)
Gloria Dei ELCA (Iowa City IA)
Immanuel Lutheran (St Paul MN)
Immanuel Lutheran (Webster NY)
John Knox PCUSA (Houston TX)
St Andrew (Marblehead MA)
St Andrew's, Oregon Hill (Richmond VA)
St Bartholomew the Great, (London, England)
St James's (Lake Delaware NY)
St James's (Richmond VA)
St James Cathedral (Chicago IL)
St Mary's Cathedral (Memphis TN)
St Matthew and St Timothy (NYC)
St Paul's (Cleveland Heights OH)
St Paul's (Indianapolis IN)
St Paul's Cathedral (Buffalo NY)
St Paul's, K Street (Washington DC)
St Peter's (Lakewood OH)
St Peter's ELCA (NYC)
St Stephen's (Richmond VA
St Thomas (New Haven CT)
St Thomas ELCA (Bloomington IN)
Second PCUSA (Indianapolis IN)
Towson Presbyterian Church (MD)
Tremont Temple Baptist (Boston MA)
Trinity (Indianapolis IN)
Trinity on the Green (New Haven CT)
Yes, but they're not the kind you buy on Wheel of Fortune.
the owner of a bower at Bucklesfordberry?
Full daintily it is dight.
interested in touch lamps?
And fountain pens.