Ordinary Time 2017
My wife Anne has written our Christmas letter this year. We're too cheap to actually mail these. If you think you should get one from us here it is:
I want your Christmas letters. I want your best-crafted, most thoroughly curated cardboard mockups of yourselves. I want your your glossings-over and your under-reportage, your artful excisions and misleading interpolations. I want it all, friends.
Why don't you give it to me?
I'll resort to playground antics. I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
I'm writing to you from the great
flyover state of Missouri, where we've recently moved and are sort of settling in. David is loving his new job. Good thing, or I would have been really steamed because moving is the worst. The move from Virginia went as smoothly as it could have but was still huge pain in the *ss, for which I am working desultorily at being extremely grateful!
We found a wonderful rental
with a range of plumbing problems in a fantastic, walkable neighborhood really far away from work, and we love strolling to the nearby park. Anne had a whole lot of trouble but eventually found part-time work in one of her fields and is with agonizing slowness drumming up work in the others.
William is learning
how to throw tantrums and growing too fast to keep him in shoes! He knows many words some of which we wish he didn't and is sharing several of them with me at the top of his lungs while trying to bite my ankles as I write this.
Ampney has spent the year
breaking every drinking glass in the house and barfing up ribbon and being a cat.
I hope to hear from you soon.
Why haven't you sent me a d*mn Christmas letter, you monsters?
There is no good cheese here. We're on the lookout for dairy Nirvana in the new year! Send cheese.
Love to you
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