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For Immediate Release

OTHER LITURGICAL MINISTIRES OF WASHINGTON NATIONAL CATHEDRAL TO HAVE SIGNIFICANT ROLES AT UPCOMING PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURATION

Mr. Oliphant C. Wigglesworth, Assistant Deputy Director of Communications, Washington National Cathedral, Washington, DC

13 Jan 2017 - Just because the inauguration takes place outside the confines of Washington National Cathedral doesn't mean that the lay people who regularly serve in the liturgies of the Cathedral can't be of assistance.

In addition to the National Cathedral Choir, Washington National Cathedral is very pleased that several other lay liturgical ministries will be taking part in the upcoming presidential inauguration.

The Flower Guild has graciously agreed to provide table decorations for the presidential luncheon. We believe that tasteful floral arrangements, which speak to God's creative power, are an important part of coming together as a nation at this time in our national life.

Members of the cathedral who serve as lectors will be on hand in case anything needs to read aloud, such as the emoluments clause or the rest of the Constitution of the United States.

The Cathedral Vergers have agreed to help the inaugural committee in helping the VIPs on the dais find their way to their seats and to the podium. Based on past experience, none of the vergers expect George W. Bush to follow (LOL).

The Cathedral ushers have volunteered will stand at the back and direct people to the portable toilets.

The Cathedral Acolytes will be prepared with processional candles in case there is a total eclipse of the sun.

Editor's note: in case you are possibly still undecided about the matter, let's clear it up for you: the above is satire and does not represent any kind of official communication from the National Cathedral whatsoever.

Labels: humor