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I received the following email yesterday. I didn't have time to read it so, naturally, I'm posting it here.

from Scb44484@cs.com
to g.vey@verizon.net
cc dsinden@gmail.com
date Wed, Jun 15, 2011 at 16:25
subject Fwd: pipe organ
hide details 16:25 (1 hour ago)
In a message dated 6/14/2011 3:15:52 PM Eastern Daylight Time, Scb44484@cs.com writes: 
pipe organ availability 

I am in a position to broker the following  consisting largely of several vintage organs:
1] a symphonic instrument from an academic institution
2] an ecclesiastical organ of 1920s and 1970s pipework from a now- defunct religious institution 
3] additionally stock pipes of high qulaity plus new pipe fill in the missing elements for a gran american symphonic organ with american classic elements for a magnificent ensemble of great power, dignity, authority and endless color and nuance
4] a complete pipe organ to suite ANY budget as LOW as $79,865 for TEN pre-owned unit ranks: 1 diapason; 3 strings, 3 flutes;3 reeds

all manual chests to be new
off-set chests to be preowned or new
an elegant vintage console with restored ivory keys and knobs and a new pedalboard with all new console solid-state controls

all this plus on-site tonal finishing by expert flue and reed voicers to assure a custom fit 

write for more info

thanx
s bournias
warren ohio



---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Scb44484@cs.com
To: elktonchurch@bellsouth.net, glogan@lhbg.org, info@ImmanuelGlasgow.org, reachgbc@hotmail.com, office@midwaybc.net
Date: Tue, 14 Jun 2011 15:15:52 EDT
Subject: pipe organ
pipe organ availability 

I am in a position to broker the following  consisting largely of several vintage organs:
1] a symphonic instrument from an academic institution
2] an ecclesiastical organ of 1920s and 1970s pipework from a now- defunct religious institution 
3] additionally stock pipes of high qulaity plus new pipe fill in the missing elements for a gran american symphonic organ with american classic elements for a magnificent ensemble of great power, dignity, authority and endless color and nuance
4] a complete pipe organ to suite ANY budget as LOW as $79,865 for TEN pre-owned unit ranks: 1 diapason; 3 strings, 3 flutes;3 reeds

all manual chests to be new
off-set chests to be preowned or new
an elegant vintage console with restored ivory keys and knobs and a new pedalboard with all new console solid-state controls

all this plus on-site tonal finishing by expert flue and reed voicers to assure a custom fit 

write for more info

thanx
s bournias
warren ohio 

Labels: organs, spam

I just received the following email:

from mattdew@sbcglobal.net
to 
date Fri, Mar 18, 2011 at 19:16
subject You Won Seven Hundred And Fifty Thousand Great British Pounds In British BPO Award. Send Your
signed-by sbcglobal.net


Name..... 


Address.....

I mean, are they even trying any more?

Labels: spam

I received this email last week, and with the approval of some Episcopal higher-ups and my ecclesiastical attorney I have decided to make it public:

Dear Sir,

ASSISTANCE REQUIRED FOR ACQUISITION OF VIRGINIA PARISHES

I write to inform you of my desire to acquire parish properties in Virginia on behalf of the Anglican Primate of the Church of Nigeria, Bishop of Abuja, and Archbishop of Province III.

Considering his very strategic and influential position, he would want the transaction to be as strictly confidential as possible. He further wants his identity to remain undisclosed at least for now, until the completion of the transaction. Hence our desire to have an overseas agent.

I have therefore been directed to inquire if you would agree to act as our overseas agent in order to actualize this transaction.

The deal, in brief, is that the funds with which we intend to carry out our proposed investments in your country is presently in a coded account at the Nigerian Apex Bank (i.e. the Central Bank of Nigeria) and we need your assistance to transfer the funds to your country in a convenient bank account that will be provided by you before we can put the funds into use in your country. For this, you shall be considered to have executed a contract for the Anglican Province of Nigeria for which payment should be effected to you by the Province, The contract sum of which shall run into US$25 Million, of which your share shall be 30% if you agree to be our overseas agent.

As soon as payment is effected, and the amount mentioned above is successfully transferred into your account, we intend to use our own share in acquiring more American parishes. For this too you shall also serve as our agent. In the light of this, I would like you to forward to me the following information:

1. Your date and location of your baptism
2. The ISBN of your Book of Common Prayer
3. Proof of your heterosexuality
4. (optional) any misgivings you have about "open communion"

Your quick response will be highly appreciated. Thank you in anticipation of your cooperation.

Yours faithfully,
Samuel Ajayi Crowther

Tangent: Okay, I admit it. I'm a fan of Nora, the piano-playing cat.

Labels: Anglicanism, parody, spam